It looks like the time has come for Arielle to make her way into our world. The ultrasound this week was not great (for those interested in the medical side her tummy circumference was on the 9th percentile and her overall growth was on the 5th percentile). Given that 10 days ago these two measurements were tummy 26th percentile and overall growth 9th percentile, the concern is that the placenta although showing normal blood flow, is not doing its job of passing enough nutrients through. If I were not on a chemotherapy regime then they would leave her in for another two weeks with very close (daily) monitoring. However given that I require the minimum break to chemotherapy and it was decided at this stage that chemotherapy could possibly pose a risk to both Arielle and I given current circumstances and therefore the decision was made by my doctors (obstetrician main decider with consults to haematologist and paediatrician) to take Arielle out by caesarean section at 6pm on Tuesday night. The decision comes as both a relief and a stress. The relief is that at least on the outside she can be very closely monitored 24 / 7 and will be given the right nutrients. Also once I recover they will do all of the proper tests on me that will enable them to properly treat the cancer be it with further chemotherapy (I am already on the strongest regime possible so the regime will not change) or perhaps now involve radiotherapy. I will also be able to have all of the side effect drugs to combat the nasty side of chemo and without being pregnant hopefully my body will cope a little better. The stress is obviously a baby being born at 33 weeks (primarily breathing problems, feeding problems, infection and brain haemorrhaging – all of which may be exasperated due to the chemo effects) and also the risk to my health of a c section over an induced birth which I would have been able to have had I got to 36 weeks (chemo changes some of my blood levels that increase risk of infection and bleeding out). She is also has a very low expected birth weight for a 33 week baby (approx 1.5 kg or 3 ½ pounds).
Yesterday I started on steroid injections to develop her lungs. Cam and I also had a tour of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) where a NICU nurse took us through and explained all of the machines, tubes, tests and problems that occur in early premmies. We saw a baby that was 1.5kg and hooked up to all of the machines and in the tiniest nappies you have ever seen and although it was quite a shock and initially upsetting at least we are a little better prepared for when Arielle comes out. Without sounding awful the hospital visit actually made us realise just how lucky we were – there were babies in the NICU born under 1 kg (2 pounds) and whilst having my steroid injection another lady was having one and she was only 25 weeks. So considering what Arielle and I have gone through in the past 19 weeks she really is a miracle baby to get to 32 weeks and over 1 kg. And very importantly all of the doctors are well prepared and briefed on the case – I could not ask for a better medical team to be helping us get through this.
We know that everyone will be thinking of us especially next week and in the coming weeks. All of your prayers and positive thoughts are very welcome and appreciated. She is likely to be in hospital until her due date (October 10) and will spend some time in NICU and then the Special Care Nursery (SCU) once she is stable and does not require breathing assistance. I do not know at this stage how long I will be in hospital – my reward for recovering from the birth is to start up the chemo again after missing round 10 this week and also to have a heap of new tests (great incentive there!!!). I suspect once my obstetrician releases me from the maternity ward my haematologist may admit me into the cancer ward to further speed recovery so that the cancer treatment can get underway again. So I am preparing myself for a longer than usual stay but hoping it will be sooner rather than later that I am let out.
At the moment all of us are coping with the news but still struggling to come to terms with it all. Therefore we would really appreciate no phone calls at the moment. Whilst I am in hospital Cam will be looking after Tiernan (a few weeks ago he reduced his workload to help look after me so that he now only works the 2 days per week that Tiernan is in childcare). Again we would appreciate no phone calls at home until we are all back on our feet again as it will be quite tiring for to be running backward and forward from the hospital to see Arielle (and me initally) with and without Tiernan, hainvg more cancer tests and treatments and then doing the normal bed, bath routine each night in addition to the emotion stress that will be involved. Whilst in the NICU and SCU we are not allowed to use mobile phones – so I hope no-one minds this request but if possible please send us emails rather than calling for the next few weeks. We can read and reply when appropriate and also it is a lot easier to emotionally cope (I tend to break down on the phone lately).
Tuesday night is going to be stressful and tiring to say the least. Mum and Dad will be at our house with Tiernan and once Arielle and I are up for it on Wednesday morning they will be bringing Tiernan in to see us. That will be our special family time when Tiernan gets to meet Arielle (he is so, so excited). We will get a text message or email out as soon as possible however given that until the day the decision will not be made as to whether I will be having a spinal block or a general anaesthetic (I pray not) for the birth we may not be up for anything on Tuesday night. So please don’t worry if you do not hear from us until Wednesday.
Well that is the end of my long blogg today. I hope it explains everything for everyone and once again thankyou to everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers – I know that they are being heard and that Arielle and I are going to be well looked after.
The next time I post a blogg I will be a mummy again!!
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August 20th, 2006 at 11:30 am
Hi Bernadette
Our thoughts and prays are with you and your family on the safe arrival of your baby daughter. She is a fighter like her mummy and I am sure with all the love and support around her she will grow into a healthy beautiful little girl before you know it.
All Our Love & Best Wishes
Jodie, Jason & Caitlin xxoo
August 21st, 2006 at 7:55 am
Bernadette & Cameron Tiernan, Just know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers, we are all waiting Arielle’s entry into the world and we know that she choose you to be her parents, we wish you the best Bernadette and a quick recovery.
Kisses Joan & Larry
August 22nd, 2006 at 4:27 am
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August 22nd, 2006 at 7:56 pm
Bernadette, Cameron & Tiernan, we are thinking of you all tonight and are praying for the safe arrival of baby Arielle. Our thoughts are also with you Bernadette, we hope that the birth goes well and that your recovery is speedy. We can’t wait to meet Arielle, your little miracle.
All our love and very best wishes to a very special family,
Kylie, David & Emily xxxooo
August 22nd, 2006 at 8:34 pm
Thinking of you all.
All our love
Matt, Karen & Jamie