Bernadette

I went to the doctor yesterday to get my results and unfortunately they were not at all what I was hoping for. Not only is the cancer still there but it has also only moderately reduced from the last MRI. The concern now is that it is actually still active. By this point he would have hoped for it to be inactive and the chemo just killing off the growth. When I got the initial great results in May that showed it had reacted really well to the chemo he did say that sometimes cancers that react really well to begin with can stop reacting to the chemo around the 4^th to 5^th month which is exactly where I am right now. Given that it could still be active he wants me to continue chemo for as long as possible before Arielle is born as he agrees I will have to miss one treatment at the time of her birth. So the plan (assuming the ultrasounds for Arielle show an improvement in growth) is for me to have a chemo at the end of week 34 (31^st August) then rest up for two weeks and be induced at 37 weeks (18 Sept) then rest up for two weeks and resume chemo at the start of October. Then after that chemo they will do some different tests that will be able to determine if the cancer is still active. If it is then alternative treatments (such as radiation treatment) will need to be considered (radiation treatment in combination with chemo is something Dr Taylor wants to avoid as although it does have a good success rate on the cancer it poses a much higher risk of me developing leukaemia later on). So the verdict is chemo until at least the end of November and maybe radiation in there as well and hopefully that will get rid of it – if not then we will deal with that then all of this is more than I can cope with at the moment. But at least I can still have Arielle at 37 weeks which is still really great. Breastfeeding, except for perhaps the first two weeks after she is born, is now out of the question totally. 

Dr Taylor is also not sure he is doing the right thing leaving me out of hospital so I am under very strict instructions to rest and eat and have had to promise to call and check myself in if at any point I feel like I need more rest or looking after. He is away for two weeks and will assess me again when he gets back. So rest is the name of the game from now until Arielle is born. 

Well I was a slacko last time and did not write a blogg. Round 7 went well except I had to have a blood transfusion and was feeling pretty sick. Round 8 has gone much better and I have not had any complications. Things are progressing well for both Arielle and I. We had a 28 week scan this week and Arielle is growing nicely and all is going well. She is still a very active little kicker and currently will only let me sleep if I lie on my right side (slightly uncomfortable as that is the side my port a cath is on but much more comfortable than being kicked all night!!)     Here is a photo of the 28 week scan - Arielle looks so much like Tiernan! She has chubby little cheeks and a cute little nose!

I am having an MRI next Wednesday and that will determine how much (if any) of the cancer is still there. Obviously we are all hoping that the answer will be that the cancer is all gone. If it is then I will only require another 4 treatments (2 months) and that will allow me to have Arielle by natural birth (induction) at 37 weeks and then have one last chemo as soon as I recover. It will also mean I can breastfeed (if Arielle and my body allow it) which would be just wonderful. If the cancer is still there then it is another situation entirely as it will mean 8 more treatments, probably an earlier birth by ceasarian and definitely no breastfeeding - I dont even want to consider that option.

I have lost a little weight recently and got a respiratory virus and although Arielle is growing, her growth rate has slowed down. Given all of this the doctor is considering keeping me in for observation for awhile. I am planning on putting on the best face possible tomorrow morning when he sees me as the idea of days or even weeks in hospital is not at all appealing!! I think he thinks (and probably rightly so) that I dont rest at home! I will try to convince him otherwise!! A few week stay in hospital would be too horrible to be away from Tiernan and Cam and also put too big a dent in the social schedule!!

Well I had better sign off and get some sleep - I’ll write again next week once I know some more information